alone. after giving birth during a planned home delivery, mom was taken to the hospital.

her husband stayed home with the baby. they were separated for nine hours. here is part two of their birth story. remember, they get reunited as a family several hours later and she got her fairy tale ending. here is part one if you missed it. going to the hospital alone is awful, but leaving your newborn right after delivery must be so difficult. colleen is a brave soul. she trusted her midwife, birth team and husband to help her make these hard decisions.

transported to the hospital alone

eventually dr. harding came in to talk to me about what had happened before i left the house and i told him about what had happened with my placenta. he asked me if crystal was sure that she had gotten it all out and i said she was sure. he left for a while after that and i had some time to wait and rest. during this time when i was in the hospital, robert was at our house with crystal and beth. they took the time to help him learn everything he needed to know to take care of nora while i was gone. he basically got a crash course in how to take care of a newborn from them. thankfully i also had donor milk to give to nora from my friend and coworker elena. crystal was also on the phone with me often to conference about what to do regarding my care. she was an enormous help to me and robert.

dr. harding returned to my room in the afternoon and said that he need to do a pelvic exam to check for any trauma. i had told him that crystal was in the process of checking me before ems arrived and had thought that i did have a tear and some bruising but hadn’t determined what degree tear it was yet. i’m not sure if he didn’t describe to me what was going to happen or if i missed it, but he actually was checking to see if my placenta was completely out and then if i had torn. the exam was horrible and i cried out in pain. i had stopped shaking at that point but started shaking again after that because of it. dr. harding explained that he thought i would need to be brought to the operating room in order to fix my tear, which he determined was a second-degree tear. again, i’m not sure if i misunderstood him, but i was under the impression that i would have to be put under in order to have my tear fixed. i later came to understand that he was concerned about the amount of swelling that i had and that he wanted to use the lighting in the operating room in order to fix the tear. they decided to give me fentanyl at that point to calm me down and stop my shaking, which i reluctantly accepted and it was effective.

alone but connected by phone

at that point the er doctor had explained to me that he thought i needed to go to the icu because i was “very sick” and they thought i was septic. by that time i had already been away from nora for hours and my only goal was to get back to her. i talked to crystal and robert about what to do and we considered even leaving to go to carilion because if i went to the icu, i would not be able to have nora with me. i told the er doctor my concerns and after a lot of back-and-forth, he was able to assure me that nora could be brought to the icu for feeding once i got there. i again reluctantly agreed to that plan, although i really felt like the icu was overkill for me at that point based on how i was feeling.

we hadn’t told anyone yet that i was even in labor, much less that i had birthed nora and that i was now in the hospital. robert and i decided that we would try to video call our immediate families at the same time from the hospital and home to let them know what was going on. so we spent time calling everyone and filling them in in between times when doctors and nurses weren’t in the room with me at the er.

familiar face brings joy during this solitary time

in the afternoon, i was visited by a familiar face – rebecca white, cnm, who i had seen a few weeks earlier to establish a relationship with the lewisgale midwifery team in case of transfer. she came in to check on me emotionally and also to help me get set up with a breast pump. rebecca was a godsend at that time and she really helped me feel like i had a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear. soon after she arrived, an icu resident stopped in to assess me before i transferred there. he honestly looked at me like he had no idea why i was being assessed for the icu and after a short exam told me they would be back in a while. rebecca white came back a little while later and helped me pump for about 15 minutes. i also spoke on the phone with dominique gallo around that time who helped behind the scenes with getting me set up with rebecca and the breast pump as well.

icu. to go or not to go. feeling alone in a room full of people.

shortly after that, i had asked the er nurse about some postpartum needs i had (which i had supplies for at home, just not with me at the er) and she reached out to the mother baby unit for a postpartum kit for me. two nurses came down around 5 pm to help me go to the bathroom and give me supplies. they were incredible and kind and i was so thankful for them. they helped me get into a gown finally and then a wheelchair to take me to the bathroom down the hall and as i was being wheeled out of the room, about 7 people from the icu were approaching to talk with me about transferring. the nurses told them that i would be going to the bathroom and would be right back. i attempted to go to the bathroom but i couldn’t and then the nurses took me back to my room where all of the icu people were standing outside. the head icu guy then started asking a bunch of questions to the nurses from the mother baby unit and they tried to answer as best as they could but they had only been with me for about 30 minutes.

i tried to interject until the icu doctor that these nurses were there just to help me get set up with postpartum kit and that they did not know the answers to all the questions that he was asking them about my care before that. after a very short conversation between myself, the icu doctor, the mother baby unit nurses, and my er nurse the icu doctor looked at me and said, “i don’t think you need to come to the icu.” i immediately burst into tears and thanked him profusely. they then told me that i could go to the mother baby unit but i would have to wait for the paperwork to go through for that transfer. the nurses from the mother baby unit that were there in my room said, well why do we have to wait for paperwork, we can just go talk to the er doctor and we will move you up there ourselves right now. the one nurse went to talk with the er doctor and within five minutes i was rolling down the hallway in a stretcher heading to the mother baby unit. i called robert and let him know that we were heading there and he got set up to come to the hospital with nora.

repair and reunion

i was set up in the mother baby unit around 6 pm and dr. harding came in to see me shortly afterwards. he told me that he thought he would be able to repair my tear in the room now that my swelling had gone down – another relieving piece of information. i asked him if he could wait until my husband arrived and he said he would. robert arrived with nora at about 7 pm – i finally got to see her after almost 9 hours apart. i had so many ivs and a blood pressure cuff on my arm i wasn’t able to hold her like i wanted to, but at least we were all together. dr. harding came back in a little while later and told me that i needed to pee before he could repair my tear. i again tried to but i couldn’t so the nurse had to catheterize me. after that was done, dr. harding came back and stitched me up, which was quick and nothing too terrible compared to the rest of what happened that day. he also told us that he saw no need for us to stay at the hospital that night and that we could go home. an incredible turn around from what i had been anticipating only hours earlier. we began gathering up our things to leave and robert gave me some options for clothes to wear home. i realized that i had many options for shirts but he had forgotten to pack pants thankfully we live right down the street from the hospital and robert was able to go home and get some pants for me to wear out. when he returned we then realized that he also did not pack me any shoes, but at this point i was fine with wearing the grippy socks out. we signed the paperwork we needed to and they took me in a wheelchair out to our car. we got home at about 11 pm and went to bed with nora in the bassinet beside me. thank God.

i could not have done it without my birth team: breath of life midwifery-crystal mullins fink, leah rhodes doula, veronika burleson, and husband,robert , and doula/photographer,beth farnsworth, supporting me! they are amazing and i am so thankful for them if you made it this far in my story, kudos to you. just wanted to share with others who might appreciate it and document it all for myself too!

share your birth story. it’s very healing and your child will enjoy reading it someday. i would love to read it.

about grammie doula:

i am a full-time postpartum doula in sw virginia and my clients call me grammie doula. i have 25 years as a labor and delivery nurse and then 10 years as a birth photographer. during the pandemic, i was able to take doula training and now i can support clients in-person and virtually. i am a mom to 3 grown children, 6 grandchildren and 2 babies in heaven. i live in a cabin in the woods with my gray-bearded husband and two pets that prefer his company over mine! laura